David Sedaris Quotes

At first I was queasy; I'll never forget the sound of the scalpel cutting a body open. But it was so cool trying to work out how these people died.

We have 62 counties in New York State and each has its own system of death investigation.

Autopsies give us the facts but not the truth.

I've never taken a scalpel to a dead body.

All work and no play make any forensic pathologist a dull boy.

After hearing the evidence, I will record a verdict of natural causes.

I am fascinated by crime scene investigating. I swear, I wish I was a crime scene investigator sometimes!

I've always been interested in forensics and the way they solve things.

I was pretty serious about pursuing forensic science as a profession. In fact, I pursued an internship at the office of the chief medical examiner here in New York.

Many police departments still use DNA evidence the way they have used fingerprints and tire tracks: to determine whether a suspect committed the crime.

In the forensic science course I took at university they used photographs of dead bodies. For ballistics they showed us a guy lying on the floor, and his head had burst.

After reviewing the polygraph charts in private, the polygraph examiner told me that I had passed and that he believed I had nothing to do with the anthrax letters.

After I outlined 'Catering to Nobody,' I went and worked for a caterer. And the other thing I had to do was to talk to the Jefferson County Sheriff's Department about how they investigated a crime.

180 episodes of 'CSI: Miami' and never the same lipstick twice!

Yes, sir, a patrol car came and took me down to a station where they were trying to develop films, but they hadn't got the facilities to develop colored film.

In the same way he's fascinated by crosswords, the puzzle of solving the murder is what drives him on.

Nothing matters but the facts. Without them, the science of criminal investigation is nothing more than a guessing game.

Well we had nine top forensic pathologists from across the country, who operated as a panel, who looked at all the ballistic evidence and they came out saying that those bullets did exactly what the Warren Commission said they did.

I'm at the right age to work with dead people, but you have to be smart to be a CSI.

Forensics I've always found absolutely fascinating. Anything to do with clues. And checking things out and solving.

I've been on this kick reading about the beginning of forensic science: autopsies, fingerprinting, psychological profiling. I've been reading a lot of books about forensic anthropology.

Yes. I did more research than I ever wanted to and saw some things I wish I didn't. I went on ride-alongs, spent time with Homicide, Cold Case, and SVU detectives, hung out in subways learning how to spot pervs and pick-pockets, viewed an autopsy, went to a police firing range, and witnessed court cases and I read, read, read.

That made me think I could contribute more to society by looking at people on the autopsy table and feeding back the findings so that lots of people could benefit, rather than just treating patients one at a time.

Murderers will try to recall the sequence of events, they will remember exactly what they did just before and just after. But they can never remember the actual moment of killing. This is why they will always leave a clue.

Discovering witnesses is just as important as catching criminals.