Will Rogers

(William Penn Adair Rogers)

Will Rogers
Will Rogers
  • Born: November 4, 1879
  • Died: August 15, 1935
  • Nationality: American
  • Profession: Comedic Actor, Columnist, Radio Personality

153

Quotes

36

Citations

134

Concepts

0

Videos

Quotes
Quote Topics Cited
Last year we said, 'Things can't go on like this', and they didn't, they got worse.
Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for. Government ;Humor
Even though you are on the right track - you will get run over if you just sit there.
People's minds are changed through observation and not through argument.
This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know when to die.
The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. Education, Learning, Knowledge & Training ;Work, Workers & The Labor Force
The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.
The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them. Time
Make crime pay. Become a lawyer. Law, Courts, Jails, Crime & Law Enforcement
There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season on senators.
There is no more independence in politics than there is in jail. Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
When the Oakies left Oklahoma and moved to California, it raised the I.Q. of both states.
Advertising is the art of convincing people to spend money they don't have for something they don't need. Money, Coins & Minting ;Arts, Culture, Entertainment & Lifestyle
You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.
There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves.
I bet after seeing us, George Washington would sue us for calling him 'father.'
The only difference between death and taxes is that death doesn't get worse every time Congress meets. Time ;Death
So let's be honest with ourselves and not take ourselves too serious, and never condemn the other fellow for doing what we are doing every day, only in a different way.
In Hollywood you can see things at night that are fast enough to be in the Olympics in the day time. Time
An economist's guess is liable to be as good as anybody else's. Business, Commerce & Finance
Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier 'n puttin' it back in.
Instead of giving money to found colleges to promote learning, why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as good as the Prohibition one did, why, in five years we would have the smartest race of people on earth. Education, Learning, Knowledge & Training ;Money, Coins & Minting
If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. Government ;Money, Coins & Minting
When ignorance gets started it knows no bounds.
It's easy being a humorist when you've got the whole government working for you. Government
I read about eight newspapers in a day. When I'm in a town with only one newspaper, I read it eight times.
The income tax has made liars out of more Americans than golf.
When you put down the good things you ought to have done, and leave out the bad ones you did do well, that's Memoirs.
Don't gamble; take all your savings and buy some good stock and hold it till it goes up, then sell it. If it don't go up, don't buy it. Business, Commerce & Finance
We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of others. Equality & Equal Opportunity
In Hollywood the woods are full of people that learned to write but evidently can't read. If they could read their stuff, they'd stop writing.
It's a good thing we don't get all the government we pay for. Government
If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics. Truth ;Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
Ohio claims they are due a president as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they have not had one since Lincoln. Government
The more you observe politics, the more you've got to admit that each party is worse than the other. Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
Our constitution protects aliens, drunks and U.S. Senators.
Money and women are the most sought after and the least known about of any two things we have. Women ;Money, Coins & Minting
Diplomats are just as essential to starting a war as soldiers are for finishing it... You take diplomacy out of war, and the thing would fall flat in a week. War & Peace
Do the best you can, and don't take life too serious. Life
A fool and his money are soon elected. Money, Coins & Minting ;Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the thing he was educated in.
I am not a member of any organized political party. I am a Democrat. Humor
If you want to be successful, it's just this simple. Know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing. Love, Romance, Marriage & Sex
A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth. Truth
People are getting smarter nowadays; they are letting lawyers, instead of their conscience, be their guide. Law, Courts, Jails, Crime & Law Enforcement
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie' until you can find a rock. Arts, Culture, Entertainment & Lifestyle
This country has come to feel the same when Congress is in session as when the baby gets hold of a hammer. Government
The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if you don't let it get the best of you.
A difference of opinion is what makes horse racing and missionaries.
The best way out of a difficulty is through it.
If the other fellow sells cheaper than you, it is called dumping. 'Course, if you sell cheaper than him, that's mass production.
Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there.
If Stupidity got us into this mess, then why can't it get us out?
America is a nation that conceives many odd inventions for getting somewhere but it can think of nothing to do once it gets there.
One-third of the people in the United States promote, while the other two-thirds provide.
Don't let yesterday use up too much of today. Morality, Ethics & Conflict of Interest
America is becoming so educated that ignorance will be a novelty. I will belong to the select few. Education, Learning, Knowledge & Training
We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business? Business, Commerce & Finance
I guess there is nothing that will get your mind off everything like golf. I have never been depressed enough to take up the game, but they say you get so sore at yourself you forget to hate your enemies. Sports & Athletics
Live in such a way that you would not be ashamed to sell your parrot to the town gossip.
All I know is just what I read in the papers, and that's an alibi for my ignorance.
A holding company is a thing where you hand an accomplice the goods while the policeman searches you.
It's not what you pay a man, but what he costs you that counts. Business, Commerce & Finance
A man only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people. Education, Learning, Knowledge & Training
People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
Liberty doesn't work as well in practice as it does in speeches. Work, Workers & The Labor Force
The farmer has to be an optimist or he wouldn't still be a farmer.
The man with the best job in the country is the vice-president. All he has to do is get up every morning and say, 'How is the president?' Morning
The 1928 Republican Convention opened with a prayer. If the Lord can see His way clear to bless the Republican Party the way it's been carrying on, then the rest of us ought to get it without even asking.
Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.
Why don't they pass a constitutional amendment prohibiting anybody from learning anything? If it works as well as prohibition did, in five years Americans would be the smartest race of people on Earth. Education, Learning, Knowledge & Training
The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.
Democrats never agree on anything, that's why they're Democrats. If they agreed with each other, they would be Republicans.
An ignorant person is one who doesn't know what you have just found out.
The difference between a Republican and a Democrat is the Democrat is a cannibal they have to live off each other, while the Republicans, why, they live off the Democrats.
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you. Government
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this - no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one. War & Peace
Never let yesterday use up too much of today.
The fellow that can only see a week ahead is always the popular fellow, for he is looking with the crowd. But the one that can see years ahead, he has a telescope but he can't make anybody believe that he has it.
It isn't what we don't know that gives us trouble, it's what we know that ain't so.
If you can build a business up big enough, it's respectable. Business, Commerce & Finance
If I studied all my life, I couldn't think up half the number of funny things passed in one session of congress. Life ;Humor
Buy land. They ain't making any more of the stuff.
Prohibition is better than no liquor at all.
About all I can say for the United States Senate is that it opens with a prayer and closes with an investigation.
We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud when they go by.
I belong to no organized party. I am a Democrat.
Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing, and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even.
Too many people spend money they haven't earned to buy things they don't want to impress people they don't like. Money, Coins & Minting
Get someone else to blow your horn and the sound will carry twice as far.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can. Life
Take the diplomacy out of war and the thing would fall flat in a week. War & Peace
Politics has become so expensive that it takes a lot of money even to be defeated. Money, Coins & Minting ;Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
One Ad is worth more to a paper than forty Editorials.
Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.
If advertisers spent the same amount of money on improving their products as they do on advertising then they wouldn't have to advertise them. Money, Coins & Minting
What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.
Chaotic action is preferable to orderly inaction.
Everything is funny, as long as it's happening to somebody else. Humor
When should a college athlete turn pro? Not until he has earned all he can in college as an amateur.
The United States never lost a war or won a conference. War & Peace
Everybody is ignorant, only on different subjects.
Communism to me is one-third practice and two-thirds explanation.
Things ain't what they used to be and never were.
Ancient Rome declined because it had a Senate, now what's going to happen to us with both a House and a Senate? Government
Things in our country run in spite of government, not by aid of it. Government
Being a hero is about the shortest-lived profession on earth.
You can't say civilization don't advance... in every war they kill you in a new way. War & Peace
I don't make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts. Government ;Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
An onion can make people cry but there's never been a vegetable that can make people laugh.
I never expected to see the day when girls would get sunburned in the places they now do. Humor
There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education. Education, Learning, Knowledge & Training ;Arts, Culture, Entertainment & Lifestyle
The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go out and make a down payment on a bigger bone. He buries the one he's got. Time
Politics is applesauce. Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
On account of being a democracy and run by the people, we are the only nation in the world that has to keep a government four years, no matter what it does. Government
The movies are the only business where you can go out front and applaud yourself. Business, Commerce & Finance ;Arts, Culture, Entertainment & Lifestyle
I'm not a real movie star. I've still got the same wife I started out with twenty-eight years ago. Arts, Culture, Entertainment & Lifestyle
Ohio claims they are due a President as they haven't had one since Taft. Look at the United States, they haven't had one since Lincoln. Presidency, Vice Presidency & Prime Ministership
Kid Congress and the Senate, don’t scold em. They are just children that’s never grown up. They don’t like to be corrected in company. Intergovernmental Relations
Politics has got so expensive that it takes lots of money to even get beat with. Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
You’ve got to be an optimist to be a Democrat, and you’ve got to be a humorist to stay one. Compliments, Insults & Rebukes
Everything must be in contrast at an affair like this. You know, to show anything off properly you must have the contrast. Now, I am here tonight representing poverty. We have enough wealth right here at this table, right here at the speaker's table alone---their conscience should hurt them, which I doubt if it does---so that we could liquidate our national debt. Every rich man reaches a time in his career when he comes to a turning point and starts to give it away. Poverty
Congressional investigations are for the benefit of photographers. Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best Political Parties & Machines
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is. Miscellaneous
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best. Political Parties & Machines ;Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
You can't say that civilization don't advance, however, for in every war they kill you in a new way. Miscellaneous
I have a scheme for stopping war. It's this -- no nation is allowed to enter a war till they have paid for the last one. War & Peace
When you get into trouble 5000 miles from home, you have to have been looking for it. Foreign Policy, World & International Affairs
Upton Sinclair is a darn nice fellow, and just plum smart, and if he could deliver even some of the things he promises, should not only be governor of one state, but president of all of 'em. Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
Ohio was voted wet by the people and dry by its misrepresentatives. Voters, Voting & Elections
The South is dry and will vote dry. That is everybody who is sober enough to stagger to the polls will. Alcohol, Tobacco & Other Drugs
If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these acceptance speeches there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven. Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
You can’t beat this prosperity thing. Presidency, Vice Presidency & Prime Ministership
Estate taxes are the government's way of making up for all the cheating you did on income taxes Taxes
There are two things that can disrupt the American economy. One is a war. The other is a meeting of The Federal Reserve Board. Economics, The Economy & Fiscal Affairs
A diplomat is one that says something that is equally misunderstood by both sides, and never clear to either. Diplomacy & Diplomats
The Republicans always looked bad three years out of four. But the year they look good is election year. Political Parties & Machines
A man don't no more than get into the White House and learn where the Ice Box is than he has to get out again, then he is never any good for hard work again. Compliments, Insults & Rebukes
No party is as bad as its state and national leaders. Compliments, Insults & Rebukes
Ten men in our country could buy the whole world and ten million can't buy enough to eat. Poverty
Communism is like prohibition, it's a good idea but it won't work. Compliments, Insults & Rebukes
Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back. Management & Managing Government
The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has. Taxes
I am for the Party that is out of Power Political Parties & Machines
I don't belong to an organized political party. I'm a Democrat. Compliments, Insults & Rebukes
Heroing is one of the shortest-lived professions there is. Miscellaneous
If you ever injected truth into politics you'd have no politics Compliments, Insults & Rebukes
This country has gotten where it is in spite of politics, not by the aid of it. That we have carried as much political bunk as we have and still survived shows we are a super nation. Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
We can't all be heroes because somebody has to sit on the curb and clap as they go by. Miscellaneous
You've got to be optimist to be a Democrat, and you've got to be a humorist to stay one. Compliments, Insults & Rebukes
The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that's out always looks the best. Political Parties & Machines