Wilson Mizner

Wilson Mizner
Wilson Mizner
  • Born: May 19, 1876
  • Died: April 3, 1933
  • Nationality: American
  • Profession: Dramatist

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Wilson Mizner was an American playwright, raconteur, and entrepreneur. His best-known plays are The Deep Purple, produced in 1910, and The Greyhound, produced in 1912. He was manager and co-owner of The Brown Derby restaurant in Los Angeles, California, and was part of the failed project of his older brother, Addison, to create a new resort in Boca Raton, Florida. Taking considerable liberties with their lives, he and Addison are the protagonists of Stephen Sondheim's musical Road Show (alternately known as Wise Guys, Gold!, and Bounce).

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A drama critic is a person who surprises the playwright by informing him what he meant.
A fellow who is always declaring he's no fool usually has his suspicions.
A good listener is not only popular everywhere, but after a while, he knows something.
A slave has but one master. An ambition man, has as many as there are people who helped him get his fortune.
All anger is not sinful, because some degree of it, and on some occasions, is inevitable. But it becomes sinful and contradicts the rule of Scripture when it is conceived upon slight and inadequate provocation, and when it continues long.
Art is science made clear. Science, Mathematics, Engineering & Technology ;Arts, Culture, Entertainment & Lifestyle
Be nice to people on your way up because you'll meet them on your way down.
Do not be desirous of having things done quickly. Do not look at small advantages. Desire to have things done quickly prevents their being done thoroughly. Looking at small advantages prevents great affairs from being accomplished.
Don't talk about yourself; it will be done when you leave. Humor
Failure has gone to his head. Failure
Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something. Humor
Hollywood is a sewer with service from the Ritz Carlton.
I can usually judge a fellow by what he laughs at.
I hate careless flattery, the kind that exhausts you in your efforts to believe it.
I know of no sentence that can induce such immediate and brazen lying as the one that begins, 'Have you read - .'
I respect faith, but doubt is what gives you an education. Education, Learning, Knowledge & Training ;Respect ;Religion & God
I'd rather know a square guy than own a square mile.
If you count all your assets you always show a profit.
If you steal from one author it's plagiarism; if you steal from many it's research.
In the battle of existence, Talent is the punch; Tact is the clever footwork.
It is not in life, but in art that self-fulfillment is to be found. Life ;Arts, Culture, Entertainment & Lifestyle
I've had ample contact with lawyers, and I'm convinced that the only fortune they ever leave is their own.
I've spent several years in Hollywood, and I still think the movie heroes are in the audience.
Life's a tough proposition, and the first hundred years are the hardest. Life
Most hard-boiled people are half-baked.
Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him. Life
The best way to keep your friends is not to give them away.
The cuckoo who is on to himself is halfway out of the clock.
The difference between chirping out of turn and a faux pas depends on what kind of a bar you're in.
The first hundred years are the hardest.
The most efficient water power in the world - women's tears. Women ;Power
There is something about a closet that makes a skeleton terribly restless.
Those who welcome death have only tried it from the ears up. Death
To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.
To profit from good advice requires more wisdom than to give it.
You sparkle with larceny.