Scott Adams

(Scott Raymond Adams)

Quotes
Quote Topics Cited
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep. Arts, Culture, Entertainment & Lifestyle
If there is one thing that our role models in this election have taught us, it's that omitting important information is completely different from lying. Morality, Ethics & Conflict of Interest
Institutions are created to address human frailties and human failures to meet human needs, but unfortunately, institutions are staffed by humans, so more institutions are created to address the failures of the original institutions. Failure ;Government
Never base your budget requests on realistic assumptions, as this could lead to a decrease in your funding. Budgets & Budgeting
Normal people … believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet. Science, Mathematics, Engineering & Technology
Nothing defines humans better than their willingness to do irrational things in the pursuit of phenomenally unlikely payoffs. This is the principle behind lotteries, dating, and religion. Religion & God ;Human Nature
One of the most underrated qualities of Republicans is that they police their own ranks. If you have a problem with a violent Republican racist, call some Republicans. They’ll solve it for you. But don’t call a Republican if you are simply offended by another person’s opinion. In that situation you want to call some Democrats to ridicule and physically attack the person with the objectionable opinion. By the way, I’m not a Republican. This is just an observation. I’ve been watching Democrats not police their own ranks – after the Berkeley violence for example – and it occurred to me that you don’t see that on the Republican side. Republicans generally appreciate free speech, but if someone attacks your family, your country, or your freedom in some physical form, keep some Republicans on speed dial. Democracies & Republics ;Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising ;Civil Disorder, Riots, Protests & Demonstrations
People are so conditioned to take sides that a balanced analysis looks to them like hatred. Politics, Politicians & Political Campaigning & Fund Raising
The biggest issue in this election is something called flip-flopping, and all candidates are accused of doing it. A strong leader is expected to maintain steadfast resolve in his opinion even if the environment changes or he gets new information. In any other context, that would be considered the first sign of a brain tumor. When presidents do it, it's called leadership Leaders & Leadership
There's a gigantic gray area between good moral behavior and outright felonious activities. I call that the Weasel Zone and it's where most of life happens. Morality, Ethics & Conflict of Interest
Be careful that what you write does not offend anybody or cause problems within the company. The safest approach is to remove all useful information.
Consultants have credibility because they are not dumb enough to work at your company. Work, Workers & The Labor Force
'Dilbert' became popular during the downsizing of the '90s, and job security was a major theme of the strip.
Engineers like to solve problems. If there are no problems handily available, they will create their own problems.
For most of my career I did one comic a day, every day, including weekends and holidays.
Free will is an illusion. People always choose the perceived path of greatest pleasure.
Home is pretty utopian.
I burned out my drawing hand by using it too much. The common word for it is writer's cramp. The fancy words for it are focal dystonia. The symptom in my case was a pinky finger that went spastic when I tried to draw.
I get mail; therefore I am.
I had several different bosses during the early years of 'Dilbert.' They were all pretty sure I was mocking someone else.
I hated my work. It never seemed to me to be what I should be doing. Work, Workers & The Labor Force
I have a perverse attraction to risk. Not physical risk but emotional, financial risk - anything than can't kill you immediately.
I love magazines. It's such McNugget kind of information. Love, Romance, Marriage & Sex
I respectfully decline the invitation to join your hallucination.
I think 'Dilbert' will remain popular as long as employees are frustrated and they fear the consequences of complaining too loudly. 'Dilbert' is the designated voice of discontent for the workplace. I never planned it that way. It just happened.
I try to avoid giving advice.
I try to manage my day by my circadian rhythms because the creativity is such an elusive thing, and I could easily just stomp over it doing my administrative stuff.
I would sometimes sit in a crowded restaurant, and say, 'You know, I'm the only person in this restaurant who can't draw.'
If a job's worth doing, it's too hard.
If there are no stupid questions, then what kind of questions do stupid people ask? Do they get smart just in time to ask questions? Time ;Intelligence, Spying, Espionage & Covert Operations
If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a Unix user to show you how it's done.
I'm not happy on vacation. In those rare times when I have three hours with no work I have to do, I'm terribly uncomfortable. Work, Workers & The Labor Force
I'm predicting that we'll finally have a computer will search my e-mail automatically and delete every message that begins with 'thought you'd be interested,' and then give an electrical shock to the sender to remind him or her to stop send that kind of message.
I'm primarily just an investor.
I'm surrendering myself to the realities of the Internet.
In fact, most people are being squeezed in their little cubicle, and their creativity is forced out elsewhere, because the company can't use it. The company is organized to get rid of variants.
Informed decision-making comes from a long tradition of guessing and then blaming others for inadequate results. Business, Commerce & Finance
It doesn't take many people to have a bad sense of humor to get in trouble at a corporation. Humor
I've always defined myself not as a cartoonist, but as an entrepreneur. That was true before I tried cartooning. I always imagined cartooning would be how I got my seed capital. I always thought my other businesses would be the less dominant part of my life. Life
Let's form proactive synergy restructuring teams.
Most success springs from an obstacle or failure. I became a cartoonist largely because I failed in my goal of becoming a successful executive. Failure ;Success
My investments have been hurt.
My old life - no amount of getting used to it would have made it right. Life
Normal people... believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Engineers believe that if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge.
Obviously there's not much options when you're a cartoonist - you pretty much either work at home or rent an office I guess, and working at home just seems easier. Work, Workers & The Labor Force
One of the reasons why you like to do your own drawings is, your style changes over time. And there's something about that that keeps it fresh to the viewer. Time
One way to compensate for a tiny brain is to pretend to be dead.
Remember there's no such thing as a small act of kindness. Every act creates a ripple with no logical end.
Remind people that profit is the difference between revenue and expense. This makes you look smart. Business, Commerce & Finance
Scientists will eventually stop flailing around with solar power and focus their efforts on harnessing the only truly unlimited source of energy on the planet: stupidity. I predict that in the future, scientists will learn how to convert stupidity into clean fuel. Future ;Power
Some of my best friends are Venture Capitalists, but let's face it, a hamster with Alzheimer's could make those kind of numbers. It's great work if you can get it. Work, Workers & The Labor Force
Technology will definitely solve all our problems, but in the process it will create brand new ones. But that's O.K. because the most you can expect from life is to get to solve better and better problems. Life ;Science, Mathematics, Engineering & Technology
The best things in life are silly. Life
The computer cuts my production time in half. I love it. Time ;Love, Romance, Marriage & Sex
The creator of the universe works in mysterious ways. But he uses a base ten counting system and likes round numbers.
The greenest home is the one you don't build. If you really want to save the Earth, move in with another family and share a house that's already built. Better yet, live in the forest and eat whatever the squirrels don't want. Families, Children & Parenting
The longer you work here, diverse it gets. Work, Workers & The Labor Force
The only risk of failure is promotion. Failure
There are always deadlines I have to meet. I don't let myself get too close to the deadlines, so it's not like I'm just sweating bullets or anything if the clock is ticking. I never let myself get in that situation.
There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
There's kind of a toll you have to pay with a cat; if you don't pet her for 10 minutes she'll bother you for six hours.
There's nothing more dangerous than a resourceful idiot.
We must develop knowledge optimization initiatives to leverage our key learnings. Education, Learning, Knowledge & Training
When times are bad, the gloves come off and employers are less nice. People become disposable.
When you hire that first person, then you're a boss. You've got performance reviews. You've got complaints about not making enough money. You've got people who are just going to sell your story to the tabloids. Money, Coins & Minting
Women are treated differently by society for exactly the same reason that children and the mentally handicapped are treated differently. Society ;Women
Work is like the rest of life. The best parts are free. Life ;Work, Workers & The Labor Force
You can never underestimate the stupidity of the general public.
You don't argue with a four-year old about why he shouldn't eat candy for dinner. You don't punch a mentally handicapped guy even if he punches you first. And you don't argue when a women tells you she's only making 80 cents to your dollar. It's the path of least resistance. You save your energy for more important battles. Women
You don't have to be a 'person of influence' to be influential. In fact, the most influential people in my life are probably not even aware of the things they've taught me. Life