Jimmy Kimmel

(James Christian Kimmel)

Jimmy Kimmel
Jimmy Kimmel
  • Born: November 13, 1967
  • Nationality: American
  • Profession: Celebrity

32

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A new Gallup poll shows that only 1 in 10 Americans approve of the job Congress is doing. A 10 percent approval rating is about the same approval rating that rabies has. Compliments, Insults & Rebukes
If your baby is going to die and it doesn't have to, it shouldn't matter how much money you make. Health, Healthcare & Medicine ;Equality & Equal Opportunity ;Poverty
Almost every week, someone's mad at me.
At the Emmys, you've got a bunch of people who are used to being on TV on TV. You don't have that at the Oscars. At the Oscars, you have people who are used to having 40 takes.
I can't be as flip as I once was.
I describe myself as a human being.
I did not have any delusions of grandeur as a kid.
I don't really need to be dirty to be funny. Humor
I go to Costco every weekend. It's my favorite part of the week.
I have had a lot of experience in broadcasting.
I have like fifteen televisions in my house.
I know there are, like, 12 rules for late night: a desk, a band. Will people take me seriously if I don't wear a tie?
I never imagined being on television.
I only get unusual ailments.
I still love comic books. When you have a kid, that's an excuse to keep reading all the comic books. Love, Romance, Marriage & Sex
If I have one criticism of the other late-night shows, it's that they're almost entirely scripted.
I'm a creative consultant, whatever that means.
I'm a terrible golfer.
It's funny how all of this has worked out - I wasn't popular in high school, but now every drunken guy in the United States wants to be my pal. They all want to buy me a shot, and pretty soon I'm throwing up. Humor
My aunt and uncle are clearly civilians.
My definition of cursing is probably different from what other people's definitions are.
No matter who it is, I hate to see people losing their jobs. I really do.
On Letterman and Leno, it always bothers me when they go outside the studio and it's daytime.
People's lives are boring.
Real emotion is good - or doing a good job of faking real emotion.
That's my main flaw: I always think authority figures or my boss is going to think something I do is funny. And usually they don't. Humor
The truth is, we have this idea that late night is about creativity and being cool, but that's not our job. Our job is to get as many people watching the commercials in between our show. That's the reality of it. Truth
There's an air of mystery around the Masons, but the reality is that they're mostly a bunch of veterans getting drunk in a lodge that they've built to look like a temple. It's just a bunch of guys trying to get away from their wives.
When I was on the radio, I used to be able to go a lot farther than I can now. You don't really remember until you're on the radio again, sometimes in your old radio station and sitting with the guys you used to work with and you go, 'Oh yeah, I can't say these things anymore. I'm handcuffed.' Work, Workers & The Labor Force
When you know someone you can make a little more fun of them without them getting offended.
You can say Pizza Hut is terrible pizza, but they also sell more pizzas than anybody else.
You don't need to exorcise your personal demons onstage.

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